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Post by sciguy on Jan 23, 2004 13:44:54 GMT -5
While not exactly obscure, I thought that the infamous "Hulk Hands" were worth mentioning. My younger cousin got a pair of these for Christmas and quickly took to attacking me with them, while examining them I found a warning label reading "Warning: For fantasy role-play only. Do not hit any People animals or objects with these." My question is; "How long could anyone possibly be amused by roaring puching gloves you can't hit anything with???" I mean what were the manufacturers thinking when they made these? "Gee, maybe some kid would buy oversized novelty hands if we made them speak..." I mean really? Anyone else know of some products as ridiculous as these?
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Post by JuanSabini on Jan 23, 2004 19:39:36 GMT -5
Heh, this reminds me of that Simpsons chapter where the new talking Malibu Stacey had strong marketing.
The kids are amazed by features that exceed their expectations and add a new feature to their fantasy world. Hearing plastic action figures talking and roaring make them feel empowered... and then they blast into an hyperactive rush, followed by a desire to piss off people. It's just too much for them.
I remember a Lego spaceship that carried batteries, and had three buttons. The result of pressing each one of them was a loud, sci-fi sound and the front part flashing in red. I played with it... one month, then threw it below my bed.
I wasn't a fan of pissoffphonic toys, mainly because I did the talking instead of them. And besides, you would be condemned to build dialogues sticking to the character's lines only. B o r i n g.
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Post by Pjalne on Jan 28, 2004 17:59:09 GMT -5
WINNER
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Post by JuanSabini on Jan 28, 2004 21:30:27 GMT -5
Oh my gosh, that toy definitely must be destroyed (maybe we could toss it to a pit along with Barney the Dinosaur). I don't know where to start. Those drawings littered over the image, I can't make any sense out of them. What do hippos have to do with guns? They can't even handle them, they have no opposed thumbs. Bah, if Tom from Tom & Jerry can stand up on the back legs and open refrigerator doors, I guess we can endure seeing hippos with guns and signals (writen in what appears to be prehistoric symbols... oh, no, it's Japanese font). All joking aside, that toy can really screw children's minds. Today they start playing with replicas of russian roulette guns, and tomorrow they will pick up real pistols and... well. Who could be so sick to invent that? This article at I-mockery gives deeper insight of potentially brainwashing toys
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Wes
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Post by Wes on Jan 29, 2004 9:08:39 GMT -5
That thing is bloody awesome! And the drawings on the box make it even better. ANGEL AND DEVIL HIPPOS!!!!!! Truly a must-have item there. But it's from Japan; what did we expect? And another thing -- a pair of feet are supposed to kick out of the barrel, but in the bottom pictures, what do they look like to you? I'm thinking definitely not feet... ~Wes
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RPD
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Post by RPD on Feb 2, 2004 19:46:39 GMT -5
So, if that kid in the ad got a phallic bullet in the eye, did he "win" Kaba Kick?
All I know is, whether he gets shot or not, the real winner is US!
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Post by Professor Hazard on Feb 10, 2004 12:21:36 GMT -5
BOMB!!
Some days I'm just so proud to live on Planet Earth.
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Post by Teirusu on Feb 11, 2004 22:19:50 GMT -5
Wow, I thought the Hulk Hands were the most awesome things ever, but this totally kicks it's ass, if giant taking foam hands had asses.
I like how the angel and devil hippos have "Safe" and "out" on their signs, LOL.
Yes, I know SOME Japanese, to an extent (I couldn't understand most of the stuff in the mayonaise game).
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Tavolski
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"There is nothing outside the thought of the immediate moment."
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Post by Tavolski on Feb 12, 2004 3:15:49 GMT -5
Holy hopped-up Christ!
It's bad enough that children already play Russian roulette with their intelligences by watching television (I'm in the U.S.), but actually playing it with a plastic gun?
I swear, it's either hit or miss with the stuff that comes out of Japan (and, unfortunately, it seems to be a lot of misses).
P.S. I happen to love Japan and its history, language, art, et cetera; I am in no way a proponent of bigoted beliefs.
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Wes
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Post by Wes on Feb 12, 2004 12:39:58 GMT -5
Hit or miss? This is totally a hit, with a plastic hippo dick to the head.
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Tavolski
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"There is nothing outside the thought of the immediate moment."
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Post by Tavolski on Feb 12, 2004 20:26:23 GMT -5
Don't get me wrong, I fucking love that thing. However, i am studying to be a psychiatrist with an emphasis on children; a toy emulating Russian roulette marketed for children makes me wince.
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Wes
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Post by Wes on Feb 12, 2004 22:39:53 GMT -5
So the hippo dick part doesn't bother you, then?
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Post by JuanSabini on Feb 13, 2004 14:28:52 GMT -5
with a plastic hippo dick to the head. It's suposed to be a pair of feet... not a phalic bullet.
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Wes
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Post by Wes on Feb 13, 2004 16:42:52 GMT -5
Whatever it's supposed to be, I know a hippo dick when I see it...
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Tavolski
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"There is nothing outside the thought of the immediate moment."
Posts: 8
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Post by Tavolski on Feb 13, 2004 23:46:23 GMT -5
It sure looks like one. And the hippo head opening (and I'm assuming it makes some sort of noise when you get punched with the dick) makes me think that even more.
And Wes, the hippo dick MAKES the gun cool. Well that, and all the crazy hiragana, katakana, and kanji littering the box. And the over-enthused child being hippo dick-punched. And the overabundance of hippos in the first place. Just its existence merits its coolness. Really, I've got nothing witty, so ignore this; I apologize for wasting the thirty seconds of your life it took to read that.
In hindsight, all the hippos make sense ("kaba" means "hippopotamus"). And I'm glad I stole that thirty seconds; it's MINE now! Ha ha ha ha ha ha heh heh ohhh, I'm lonely.
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