Post by JuanSabini on Jan 28, 2004 16:01:11 GMT -5
Whenever you watch a movie and you spot a scene you are familiar with, it could be either a deja-vu or the perception of the producers' lack of creative power. This list of Typical Movie Facts will expose the usual moments that provoke both. Enjoy:
In scary films, out of every closet a cat will jump out scaring everybody.
You don't need to lock your car when parking in the street.
Anybody who coughs, will die.
When typing on a computer, you don't have to use the space-key
Every bomb is deactivated 2 seconds before it blows.
Every bomb has a blue and a red wire, one of them needs to be cut to stop it.
Every lantern or flashlight will turn off or fail just before it gets dangerous.
Nobody takes change from paying a taxi.
If there's danger in the house, lights will blink or not work.
If you need to fly from danger, cars won't start.
Every alien speaks English.
There's are no ugly people on the beach.
Whatever big a tragedy happens, dogs never die.
The police will always arrive minutes after the hero defeats the villain.
Every villain will explain his evil plan for world domination to the hero on
a blackboard.
The worst teams with the worst players will always win the championship
using some weird strategy or new tactic.
The TV is always turned on the moment some breaking news shows up
Horses are not hit in wild-west movies shooting scenes.
Every car that has an accident will explode.
If there's a building on fire, the hero always has to go back in to rescue a
baby.
Lighting will always appear at the same instant as thunder.
Every twin has a good and an evil.
If ammunition of a gun ends, you need to throw the gun.
Every telephone number starts with 555
If you're being chased by a monster, you will trip and fall
Every villain has a comfortable armchair.
The Internet is super-hyper fast and you don't need to connect.
If you sleep, you will have a nightmare.
Ice in a drink will never melt.
Although the earth is huge, aliens will always land in the USA
In kung-fu movies, you need to talk while pointing your finger to the other person.
Snack or soda machines don't work
If there's a fighting scene on a roof, somebody will fall off.
You don't say "Goodbye" to someone you're talking to on the phone. You just hang up.
If you dial a number, the phone is usually picked up immidietly or you hang up after only two rings.
It doesn't matter if all the monster (especially zombies) can do is limp; no matter how fast you run, it'll always stay close behind you
Saying 'This can't get any worse' or 'I think it's gone' will cause someone to die or get injured within the next minute
If a monster or man falls down undramatically after being shot or stabbed the person always has to go and check to make sure it's dead, which of course it never is
There's always the 'let's split up' thing.
All bombs have big red LCD timers on them, notifying the hero of exactly when they should go off.
If the hero is trained in martial arts, no matter how many enemies he is facing, they will never attack more than three at a time.
If the hero is a handsome man, at least one of the beautiful women he meets will be evil.
Bathrooms are never actually used for relieving one's self.
If the hero takes a bullet to the shoulder, he can simply shrug it off. If an enemy gets hit in the shoulder, he is dead. The same goes for being hurled against a rock wall.
A hero can safely walk through a hail of machine gun fire, but can use each bullet in his pistol to take down one enemy.
All bedsheets are L-shaped, so they come up to the waist of the guy but the neck of the girl.
Everybody on earth is trained in ballet and jazz dancing, so if you start dancing on the street everybody can join in.
All foreigners prefer to speak English to one another when they are alone.
No computer ever uses Microsoft Windows.
Any boxes that you hit in a high-speed car chase will be empty.
Also, if you intend to be an evil overlord and want to make sure you don't commit the same mistakes that people in movies do, check this page
In scary films, out of every closet a cat will jump out scaring everybody.
You don't need to lock your car when parking in the street.
Anybody who coughs, will die.
When typing on a computer, you don't have to use the space-key
Every bomb is deactivated 2 seconds before it blows.
Every bomb has a blue and a red wire, one of them needs to be cut to stop it.
Every lantern or flashlight will turn off or fail just before it gets dangerous.
Nobody takes change from paying a taxi.
If there's danger in the house, lights will blink or not work.
If you need to fly from danger, cars won't start.
Every alien speaks English.
There's are no ugly people on the beach.
Whatever big a tragedy happens, dogs never die.
The police will always arrive minutes after the hero defeats the villain.
Every villain will explain his evil plan for world domination to the hero on
a blackboard.
The worst teams with the worst players will always win the championship
using some weird strategy or new tactic.
The TV is always turned on the moment some breaking news shows up
Horses are not hit in wild-west movies shooting scenes.
Every car that has an accident will explode.
If there's a building on fire, the hero always has to go back in to rescue a
baby.
Lighting will always appear at the same instant as thunder.
Every twin has a good and an evil.
If ammunition of a gun ends, you need to throw the gun.
Every telephone number starts with 555
If you're being chased by a monster, you will trip and fall
Every villain has a comfortable armchair.
The Internet is super-hyper fast and you don't need to connect.
If you sleep, you will have a nightmare.
Ice in a drink will never melt.
Although the earth is huge, aliens will always land in the USA
In kung-fu movies, you need to talk while pointing your finger to the other person.
Snack or soda machines don't work
If there's a fighting scene on a roof, somebody will fall off.
You don't say "Goodbye" to someone you're talking to on the phone. You just hang up.
If you dial a number, the phone is usually picked up immidietly or you hang up after only two rings.
It doesn't matter if all the monster (especially zombies) can do is limp; no matter how fast you run, it'll always stay close behind you
Saying 'This can't get any worse' or 'I think it's gone' will cause someone to die or get injured within the next minute
If a monster or man falls down undramatically after being shot or stabbed the person always has to go and check to make sure it's dead, which of course it never is
There's always the 'let's split up' thing.
All bombs have big red LCD timers on them, notifying the hero of exactly when they should go off.
If the hero is trained in martial arts, no matter how many enemies he is facing, they will never attack more than three at a time.
If the hero is a handsome man, at least one of the beautiful women he meets will be evil.
Bathrooms are never actually used for relieving one's self.
If the hero takes a bullet to the shoulder, he can simply shrug it off. If an enemy gets hit in the shoulder, he is dead. The same goes for being hurled against a rock wall.
A hero can safely walk through a hail of machine gun fire, but can use each bullet in his pistol to take down one enemy.
All bedsheets are L-shaped, so they come up to the waist of the guy but the neck of the girl.
Everybody on earth is trained in ballet and jazz dancing, so if you start dancing on the street everybody can join in.
All foreigners prefer to speak English to one another when they are alone.
No computer ever uses Microsoft Windows.
Any boxes that you hit in a high-speed car chase will be empty.
Also, if you intend to be an evil overlord and want to make sure you don't commit the same mistakes that people in movies do, check this page
